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8 Vintage Ads Ripped Directly from Your Nightmares With the right lighting and soundtrack, the most innocuous things in the world are the most sinister. For example, it s dusk and you see a solitary kid rocking slowly on a squeaky swing set. Do you think, "Aww, how cute!" or do you run because you know a Dementor will be there at any moment? Probably the latter. When advertisers created the following ads, they probably had no idea they were actually making horror movie posters. 8. The Future s So Bright, You ll Not Want to Go ThereIf ad campaigns were people, this one would be sweating profusely, wringing his hands, and yelling, "It s not what it looks like, I swear!" And then he d commit suicide. Because what it looks like is a nightmare future where children sunbathe in the nude under the intimate supervision of Dr. Horrible . all thanks to dehydrated milk. For the benefit of our blind friends, let s do a quick breakdown of all that s wrong with this Cocomalt ad. In this one image we have: Two TOTALLY nude boys bathing under a sunlamp and the glare of a grown man staring at their bottom parts. Next time you re having nike free 5.0 men a heated holiday argument with your grandparents (because you re awful . who argues with their grandparents?), just remind them how OK past generations were with child nudity and you ll win. After all, Shirley Temple, Jodie Foster, the Olsen twins, and the Ubu dog all started their careers in various states of undress. But even if we sweep the specter of child nakedness into the Things We Dare Not Talk About Containment Unit, there s still a whole lot of scary going on with this ad. Like the fact that every kid minus Happy Nipples looks like an eyeless robot. Or if you look hard enough, the sun lamp isn t a lamp at all, but a giant spiked German helmet from World War I. It s not until you read the text that you figure out what s going on here. Before our elders discovered the dangers of overexposure to UV rays or pedophilia, winter and sunless days were considered the enemy of good health. As if the season of winter were personally murdering kids on the daily. No wonder so many kids turned hobo during the Great Depression . roofs were the worst. Ovaltinish Cocomalt, with its infusion of vitamin D, was the perfect substitute for sunshine and clothes. nike air max wright But they couldn t just show a kid drinking some Cocomalt and being healthy they needed to show what Cocomalt represented. Thus the collage of nude sunbathers and Mr. Voyeur. COCOMALT: Just what the most awful pediatrician in town ordered. 7. Roger Sterling Has Got Your KidListen up, sweater makers. It s not hard to sell your wares. Illustrate a happy family sitting by the fire, drinking hot cocoa. Draw snow. Better yet, give us Bill Cosby. Our imaginations will do the rest. People love sweaters. Do you know what people don t love? Old men creeping at the window. Imagine you re in your living room, you hear a rap on the glass, and this is girls nike air max what you see. Either this man is taunting you as he prepares to steal your child or this is the last thing your eyes behold before these two break into your house and eat your face off. It s especially bad if you look beyond your future killers to the unearthly sky behind them. It s not black, like the night sky, or light blue, like the day sky. There are no stars, no moon, no streetlights, no passing airplanes. It s an unearthly steel color, as if these two are the harbingers of a new world order, one where up is down and sweaters are the garments of choice for a new race of people eaters. Either that, or that gift behind Junior s back is The Watchtower and you ve already made eye contact. You have no choice but to open the door. Again, not the best way to advertise sweaters! 6. Decapitation Is SexyHere s a fun secret: Every little girl wants to play with a giant severed Barbie head. Don t act shocked. Here s one that kids of the 70s played with: YIKES. My bad. That is definitely Cher waiting for someone to work their beauty magic on her face, hair, and clavicle area. Here s what they look like now: When real girls from the 60s and 70s wanted to do their impossibly springy curls, they used actual tape to fasten their hair in place. The same tape could also double as tape for wrapping presents or tightening double chins. When Scotch Tape wanted to advertise their brand of hair curling tape, they took their cue from decapitated dolls that girls love to play with. Which is how we ended up with a woman s head mounted on a fancy roll of toilet paper. Maybe she represents the consumer, who wants to look like a bodiless doll. Correction: dolly. The ad definitely says "dolly." Do you want to look like a Christmas dolly? Scotch Curling Tape thinks you do, so they took it upon themselves to humanize severed doll heads. It s weird and misguided, but whatever, Scotch Tape. You do what you ve got to do to get eyes on your product. We could have done without the extra neck inches, though. Record scratch. What is this???? At the altar of the Severed One are two tiny, cowering, fully bodied dolls, clearly terrorized by the head who is now their master. From here, they kind of look Japanese, so I m not sure if this was some kind of message about American imperialism or nuclear energy nike air max 87 turning heads into hot air balloons or what. All I know is that what started as an ill advised campaign turned into a menacing warning that nobody gets. 5. The Nitty Gritty Dirty Whiskey AdHey, hey you. You there. Come here. You smell nice. What s that? Charlie? Jovan? White Shoulders? Chantilly? Chanel? Soft Dri? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. You like whiskey? Sure you do. I said COME CLOSER. Want some of my Dick whiskey? Get it? Get it? Sorry, George DICKEL whiskey. Here, I got you your own glass. This one. Not that one. This one. Here. Drink it. Drink it. Drink it. That s not the nike air max mens glass I fixed special for you. Put it down. Drink this one. This one. Here. This one. No? Then go to hell. Dick Dhiskey.
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80 Maureen Chiquet What could be better than overseeing a fashion powerhouse that nike air max 2013 cheap has ads with starlets like Nicole Kidman and Gwyneth Paltrow nike free run cheap coveting its products? For Chiquet, who climbed the retail ladder for twenty years nike kids free run 5.0 before being named to the newly created position of Chanel s global chief executive, being at the top of this secretive fashion powerhouse is a just reward. After a brief stint working for L Oreal in Paris, the St. Louis native joined the Gap in 1988, where she started as assistant merchandiser. Chiquet later moved within the organization to Old Navy, where she grew the brand from 35 to 850 stores. Next stop, Banana Republic, where she became president in 2002. But with offerings like the Naked Bag, a clear handbag for $1,250, or alligator bags at $26,000, Chanel s pricing invites exclusivity. Securities and Exchange Commission filings, World Economic Forum, the World nike air max command Book Encyclopedia. Rankings generated by combining various financial figures with other media and biography nike air max 1 women metrics; global media mentions from Factiva.
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82nd Academy Awards Red Carpet Fashion The 82nd Annual Academy Awards kicked off tonight with tons of high fashion on the red carpet outside the Kodak Theater in Los Angeles, CA. Stars arrived on the 2010 Oscar s red carpet wearing designs from fashion labels such as Marchesa, Versace, Armani and Chanel, and Tom Ford (who is a film nike air max 90 cheap director as well!). Clooney s look included sexy, feathered hair, silver toned buttons down the front of his white dress shirt, and a classy bow tie. Cameron Diaz looked pretty as a picture in Oscar De La Renta. Diaz wore a golden flecked strapless gown with a straight across neckline and fitted bodice. Diaz shined with simple make up and flowing hair she wore cascaded over one shoulder. Penelope Cruz looked glam in a scarlet gown with an assymetrical, strapless bodice and full, gathered gown. Charlize pink nike free run Theron arrived at the 82nd Academy Awards in an interesting selection. Theron sported a strapless, floor length gown in blush tones and a mermaid silhouette. The gown featured light pink rosette embellishments positioned over her bosom, which led around the back of the gown and developed into a train. Though the piece was unique, it didn t pack quite the impact Theron likely was going for. Another curious gown on the 2010 Oscar red carpet was worn by Sarah Jessica Parker. Parker chose a lemon creme colored Chanel sheath which featured a distracting, over done silver embellishment at the neckline and a reverse halter shoulder strap that began in the back and ran up and across her neck. Her smokey eyes, bouffant hair bun and well paired accessories helped detract from the dress itself, which was a good thing. There were definite touches of Old Hollywood, perhaps most evidenced by Best Supporting Actress nominee, Vera Farmiga. Vera Farmiga, who got her nod for her role in "Up In The Air" with George Clooney, chose a truly stunning Marchesa gown in a deep crimson red. Farmiga s gown highlighted the starlet s adorable figure with its intricate darting, gathering and scalloped ruffles. Farmiga completed her glamorous Academy Awards look with over sized pearl earrings and a lightly teased up do. Most of the men on the 2010 Oscar s red carpet began to fade into one another, with several actors dressed in seemingly identical duds. Granted, the Academy Awards is not the place to take major fashion risks or make a controversial statement, however it would have been nice to see a little more creativity. Presenter Zac Efron looked smart in a black tux with a skinny tie, but so did Avatar s Sam Worthingon,+ and about two dozen other guys on the red carpet. The one exception to the rather boring male fashion sense at the 2010 Oscar s was Neil Patrick Harris. Harris opened the 82nd Annual Academy Awards with a fun, jaunty Las Vegas inspired act that included a fabulous sequined tuxedo, and the accompaniment of dozens of beautiful showgirls in full, feathered regalia. Back to the pre Oscar s fashion, though! Meryl Streep looked fabulous in a classically fitting, faux wrap style gown in white, which nike air max 2010 featured a plunging neckline but long sleeves to balance the skin factor. Streep looked not only age appropriate, but very elegant! Jennifer Lopez, who will be presenting an Oscar award tonight with Sam Worthington from "Avatar", floated down the red carpet with hubby, Marc Anthony, in a strapless gown with a opalescent pink sheen and dramatic fabric bunching which developed into a very full side train. The gown s train snaked down Lopez s left side, and continued behind her. The hem of the gown itself dusted the floor, but was rather form fitting. Female actors such as Elizabeth Banks, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Sandra Bullock chose very form fitting Oscar gowns for the 2010 Academy Awards. Sandra Bullock s dress was very feminine and sweet, though the bodice was a touch teenage figure skater to be worn by someone over the age of forty. Still, with a body like Bullock s, she pulled it off. Two questionable 2010 Oscar s fashion choices were Amanda Seyfried s silver Armani gown (which was stylish and fashion forward enough, but the color completely washed her out), and Faith Hill s flawed frock which featured lacey cut aways reminiscent of something she might have worn to a dinner party nike free v4 in the mid 1980 s. The ultimate 2010 Academy Awards fashion faux pas was committed by one of the stars from the 2009 mega hit "Avatar", Zoe Saldana. Zoe Saldana is a beautiful woman, and her hair, make up and personality on the red carpet matched that statement. However, the gown was another story. The miles of multi toned purple ruffles swallowed the starlet, and the damage wasn t mitigated by the tight fitting, sequined bodice. This gown was perhaps one of the scariest sites at tonight s Oscar presentation, besides perhaps, Molly Ringwald s. Molly Ringwald looked awkward as she co presented an Oscar in a boxy, blue gown which had a beautifully draped shoulder but an odd, medieval looking embellishment (which exactly matched a bracelet on her left arm). The look was slightly odd and simply didn t flatter Ringwald s shape. Jennifer Waite is also the Tucson Rock Music Examiner on Exami. View profile Nominees for 82nd Academy Awards Announced February 2The list of nominees for the 82nd Annual Academy Awards was announced February 2, 2010 at the Samuel Goldwyn Theater by actress new air max Anne Hathaway. It is likely their hosting duties will be a large success, though some question the academy s motivation in change the hosting format.2010 Oscar Predictions Based on Reviews, Awards and Box OfficeHere s a look at the 2010 Oscar predictions based on reviews, recent awards and box office performance.
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